Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
His nipple licking is glorious
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