I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
