Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
