in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize