you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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