Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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