i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
