I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
