it wasn't lemon gatorade
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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