Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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