My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
