how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
