Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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