WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
