Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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