I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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