Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
