Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
