Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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