I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
