The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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