can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
