you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize