Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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