remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
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I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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