So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
