then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
