Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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