how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
