I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
