ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
