the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize