youre lurking in front of me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
