sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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