There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
