No stitches, just platelets and will power
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All I want is dick and wine.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
