where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
