just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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