They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
