My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
