Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
