so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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