You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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