nut hugger
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
