is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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