I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
