she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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