dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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