david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
