i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
