Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
