We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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