I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
