why didn't you poke me back
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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