You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
