yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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