I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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