hell yes lets make some ravioli
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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