THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
