If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
