Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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