David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
