It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize