I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
