hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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