haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
